Today I received an e-mail from "Gambler" one of the best PUA's(Pickup artists) of the world. In it, he shares some of the great tips on Body Language related to "The Attraction Game".
I would like to thank "Gambler" for sending me these great and valuable tips.
I hope you enjoy it!
How's it going?
Did you know that the words we use in conversation only make up about thirty per cent of the message we send to other people? Think about that for a moment - the actual words that we use in seduction situations are much, much less important than how they are delivered (and yet We sweat about what we are saying all the time). Most men have no idea about this, and no idea that they are handicapping themselves by their posture, hand movements and facial gestures. The good news is that there are some simple lessons you can learn that will instantly improve your communication skills, and none of them have anything to do with memorizing openers. The even better news is that that is the purpose of this email. Before we get started, go and get a mirror. You're going to need one. You have some bad habits we need to identify and break.
1. Stand still!
If you hop around from foot to foot or sway backwards and forwards when you're talking, you're not going to come across confidently. It won't matter if you are the wittiest, most intelligent raconteur at the bar - you're going to get blown out. Luckily, this one is simple to fix: plant your feet a little wider than feels natural, in a position that corresponds with your shoulders. Feels better, doesn't it? This is a solid base to start from, and it makes it more difficult to move around. It's also the base stance for most martial artists. If you want a black belt in PUA, you need to get this right.
2. Stop fidgeting!
Look in the mirror and have a conversation with someone. What do you do with your hands when you are talking? Do you fidget with things, scratch yourself, touch your face? Stop! This is very unattractive and it screams out that you lack confidence. Again, it's easy to fix. Squeeze your thumb, index and forefingers together and then let your hands fall naturally to your sides. Doing this removes the need for the fingers to be active. You can (and should) still use your hands during the conversation, but when you use them now you'll use them consciously. As tools.
3. Head up!
Nervous guys look at their shoes. Or the floor. Or her shoes. It looks terrible. Eye contact is vital for confident communication. Let me repeat that: eye contact is vital. Keep your head up, look her in the eye, and hold the contact. You can practice in the street - the next time you're out, fix eyes with the girls that pass you and rather than looking away first, wait for them. If you want to up the ante a bit, give them a cheeky smile as they pass. You'll be surprised how many smile back.
4. Make slow head movements.
Be smooth. Darting, jerking movements of the head suggest anxiety. Anxiety is unattractive. Unattractive guys don't get laid. Confident men move their heads with slow, subtle, languid movements as if nothing is bothering them and they are totally relaxed. Confident guys get laid.
5. Walk slowly and smoothly
It's not just your head movements that should be controlled and smooth - apply the same lesson to your body. Teach yourself to move with confidence and, apart from looking more confident, you'll feel it too. When you're in a club environment, moving slowly and with purpose really stands out - everyone else will be jittering left and right and if you can be the exception who moves with grace and style, you'll immediately attract positive attention.
6. Hold your drink by your side
There are a couple of tips when it comes to drink. First, don't drink too much - everything you've learnt will go out of the window if you're drunk and slurring, booze-smelling guys don't usually end up with hot babes. A couple of drinks aren't such a bad idea but don't hold your glass across your chest - this is a classic defensive posture and it will be noticed. Rest your glass on the bar or hold it by your side. That's much more natural.
I hope it's obvious now that body language is key - don't underestimate it. Even if you're feeling nervous inside, a strong and confident image will go a long way in making you super-attractive. For a blinding example of how much difference it can make, take a look at this perfect example: Video. We spend quite a bit of time on body language at our bootcamps - I can teach you the basics in this email, but there's no substitute for face-to-face tuition where I can show you exactly where you are going wrong and exactly how to put it right. Drop me a line on firstname.lastname@example.org if you'd like to chat about any of this.
Until next time,
PS: You are going to LOVE the next email. Everything you've ever wanted to know about how to kiss a girl but were too afraid to ask...see you in seven days